I love it when you schedule a session but you can’t stop thinking of me in the meantime. And so you’re in my DMs begging to send. Offering gifts. Wanting attention.
Mistress.
Goddess.
Please.
Please.
Your anticipation. The waiting. The way you can’t stop thinking about the next time I text you back…
It’s delicious.
When I slip my stockinged feet into knee-high black boots and walk with confidence down the street…it’s for me, not you.
When I massage lotion across my skin, letting my hands glide pleasurably over every curve, keeping the skin soft, supple…it’s for me, not you.
When I strip down to my underwear, take a teasing photo…it’s for me, not you.
When I place delicate body jewelry under my clothes…
When I toss my hair casually to one side…
When I close my eyes and savor the taste of that coffee you bought me…
When I slip the silky lingerie you sent over my skin…
It is for me. I am doing it for me.
My pleasure.
My power.
My sexiness.
My joy.
My self.
If you’re lucky enough to get pleasure from my joy, I’m happy for you. But it was never for you. It never centered you. It never will.
It depends on the D/s relationship, but for me it typically means I’m not mean or loud or bratty with my subs unless they’ve specifically requested that dynamic or they’re being assholes. I am more likely to call my subs pets than piggies or losers. I am more likely to hold back and let them crave my approval than I am to actively disapprove.
What people (both in kink and my life) tend to long for from me is this kind of care. They want to surrender. They want someone else to take the reins. They want to be seen and known and guided. Sometimes the dynamic feels like owner/pet. Sometimes goddess/worshipper. Sometimes mentor/lucky mentee. Even friends call me mommy, designated adult, and other similar things. It’s hard to know exactly what other people see in me that causes this, but my whole adult life people have craved my approval, handed me their secrets, trusted me with vulnerable parts of themselves, asked me to guide them – so really I’m just bringing my whole self to the D/s dynamic and it manifests as what some consider mommy or kind domme dynamics.
Of course, things are a bit different with different people. Some people bring out a more teasing side of me; some bring out a more motherly care. Some become lapdogs. Some bring out the goddess. In any case, I’m always in charge. 😉
I have yet to have a D/s connection that feels exactly the same as another, so for me it’s about getting to know the other person and finding where our needs either intersect or don’t.
It started as a slow exploration of my domme side with a partner who has a thing for worshipping powerful women. Kissing my feet. Sitting on the floor beside my chair. Anticipating my needs. Bringing me gifts.
The “aha” happened when I was I was having a girls night at my house (partner not invited) and all day he was texting me offering to come over and clean the house and do the dishes afterward. The first time felt like an offer, then it felt like worship. Obsession with the idea of pleasing me. And I LOVED it.
I realized that the surrender of his time to my control for my pleasure satisfied some part of me that I’d never experienced before. And from there it made perfect sense to me that both time and money fit into my goddess kink perfectly.
That moment gave me clarity and let me trace back to so many other moments that had the same roots and I finally gave in to what many people have told me over the years: I’d be a great domme.
So far, this journey has been deeply centering.