Hi there, kitten–
I see you over there, poking your whiskers out of hiding, simultaneously longing to be seen and terrified of it.
Because you’re a submissive man. And your whole life, society has told you that one of those things negates the other. That submission isn’t masculine. That masculinity isn’t submissive.
Come out of hiding, crawl up here in my lap while I tell you the truth:
Vanilla world has been lying to you.
Nobody can steal your masculinity if you want it. It’s yours. Inherently. Un-stealably. Being submissive has never put it at risk.
Even more important: playing at dominance doesn’t make you brave. It actually does the opposite. It’s caving to peer pressure. It’s hiding. It’s sacrificing your authentic self on the altar of societal expectations.
I’m not here to tell you those expectations don’t exist. They do. It’s part of what people mean when they use the word patriarchy—a world where you’ve been told that by virtue of being a man you are also required to be 35 other things you never agreed to.
Dominant. Violent. Anything but feminine.
But following the crowd has never been the brave move. Living your truth is. Loving yourself when the world tries to tell you you’re not lovable is. Letting go of their opinions to trust what you already know deep in your gut is.
Buried as it might be, I know what’s deep in that gut if you’re brave enough to find it:
Authenticity.
Courage.
Self-love.
Submission.
I don’t mean that you have to be out and proud with every person you meet. I don’t mean that you put a SUBMISSIVE stamp on your business cards. I understand that society doesn’t understand.
What I want for you is this: to understand, deep in your soul, that you being yourself is courage.
I never hear a man describe himself as dominant and think he’s brave. Embracing societal expectations may or may not be a positive in some cases—but it’s never an act of courage.
But you? YOU, kitten? Living your truth? That’s fucking brave. That’s fucking strong. That’s something to pay attention to.
In case you needed the reminder today: every time you decide you like the submissive part of yourself, you’re doing something brave. Something unusual. Something interesting.
And even if I don’t know you yet, I’m pretty fucking proud.