It depends on the D/s relationship, but for me it typically means I’m not mean or loud or bratty with my subs unless they’ve specifically requested that dynamic or they’re being assholes. I am more likely to call my subs pets than piggies or losers. I am more likely to hold back and let them crave my approval than I am to actively disapprove.
What people (both in kink and my life) tend to long for from me is this kind of care. They want to surrender. They want someone else to take the reins. They want to be seen and known and guided. Sometimes the dynamic feels like owner/pet. Sometimes goddess/worshipper. Sometimes mentor/lucky mentee. Even friends call me mommy, designated adult, and other similar things. It’s hard to know exactly what other people see in me that causes this, but my whole adult life people have craved my approval, handed me their secrets, trusted me with vulnerable parts of themselves, asked me to guide them – so really I’m just bringing my whole self to the D/s dynamic and it manifests as what some consider mommy or kind domme dynamics.
Of course, things are a bit different with different people. Some people bring out a more teasing side of me; some bring out a more motherly care. Some become lapdogs. Some bring out the goddess. In any case, I’m always in charge. 😉
I have yet to have a D/s connection that feels exactly the same as another, so for me it’s about getting to know the other person and finding where our needs either intersect or don’t.