A day or two ago, I played a game with a man who loves a little public humiliation.
I sent him a photo of myself in a challenging pose: on my knees, feet toward the camera, hand on hip, a slight twist in my body. All feet and curves and tights with hearts of them.
“Duplicate it,” I told him. “Try to take your own photo with a pose like this.”
His first attempt earned him a second attempt. And then with his second photo in hand, I told him I wanted to take it to a vote. I’d post the photo in our Discord server and we’d let the group decide who did it better.
The game was very obviously rigged. For my win and our mutual pleasure.
The dommes did not disappoint. He was teased mercilessly. Fondly. Publicly. Laughing emojis and laughing people. The atmosphere: jovial. His heart: racing.
Everyone’s day was a little better because of kitten’s kink and courage.
(Very much including his day.)
When I think about humiliation, this is one of the things I think about.
Joy. Laughter. Play.
I think about the ways that teasing can make a person feel seen. How making others laugh can make them feel they belong. They matter. Their silliest, most vulnerable parts are a gift.
I think about how so many of the things we do on the “silly” side of humiliation are simply giving permission to play. To make animal noises. Cosplay a ballerina. Wear something that makes us feel goofy or vulnerable. Be silly–all things that are off the societal script for adults, but that I think many of our souls truly need.
This isn’t the only way to play with humiliation in BDSM, of course. But it’s one I love because what I find in it is an expansiveness. A way for someone to step off those scripts for a moment and play. Stop performing at adulting or masculinity or seriousness and just be themselves.
And that play can feed their joy as well as their arousal.
I think that’s fucking beautiful.