There’s an anxiety that sometimes shows up when I’m getting to know a new sub. Whenever I ask a question about their kinks, nickname preferences, etc., they’re hesitant to answer.
“Whatever you want, Goddess,” is a common refrain.
“I just want what you want,” is another usual answer.
On the surface, that’s fabulous. Because yes, here in my temple, it is whatever I want.
But it’s also more complex than that. Because what I want is to toy with you. To tease you. To evoke reactions in you.
And the only way I can get there is to understand you.
My core kinks are things like worship and tease and denial. If I haven’t tapped into what makes you feel teased, what turns you on, what makes you fall to your knees—I’m not having fun.
I think the underlying fear here is that answering the questions directly means I’ll cater to your pleasure instead of mine. You don’t want the game to feel fake, to be fake. You don’t want me to call you a bitch if I don’t feel like it. You don’t want me to call you a cutie just for show.
And I get that. Because it happens. Your fear is valid. There are spaces where you can pay to have someone play out your exact fantasy because you asked.
But that isn’t this space.
When I ask you those questions, it is not because I am creating your fantasy at the expense of mine; it’s because I’m using yours to create mine. Connecting with you, toying with you, getting into your psyche is part of the game. And while I will also read you in ways you never expected, giving me something to work with doesn’t diminish the game; it enhances it.
So when I ask you a question, rest assured I am not pushing my own needs aside to serve yours. I am understanding yours in order to craft something that is fun and fulfilling for us both.
I am not the type of goddess who wants subs who simply “yes, goddess” their way through life. I want you to be vibrantly yourself, to embrace your authenticity, and to grow and thrive in that authenticity through my control.
And that all starts with cracking open your truths, just a bit, to let me peer inside.