First, a truth:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sometimes it surprises me what you consider mean.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
When I tell you a hard truth, even gently: mean. When I say you should embarassed (because you should be): mean. When I laugh at a shenanigan: mean. Teasing is mean. Directness is mean. Taking men off the pedastle that society pretends we\u2019re all supposed to keep you on: mean, mean, mean<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n In my day-to-day life, this is the truth I live. In a world that doesn\u2019t expect or reward directness, confidence, or truth-telling in women. And now even in this world, in D\/s, where my meanness is craved, requested, begged for<\/em>, even\u2014the definition of meanness didn\u2019t shift as much as I expected it to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n That\u2019s not to say I\u2019ve never had requests for real cruelty. I have.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But that\u2019s not most of them. Most of the requests are for something else.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Not meanness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Simply…authenticity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Simply: mask off. Tell us what you really think.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Maybe the allure is the gift of knowing that if I praise you, I mean it<\/em>. That I am not interested in babying you or kissing your ass. That I am not here to infantalize you the way our society loves to. That you don\u2019t get the free pass the world too often gives you. The one that feels wrong. Feels inauthentic.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Because it is.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Women smile at you sometimes because they\u2019re afraid of you. They pacify you because they don\u2019t want to deal with your bullshit. They excuse your bad behavior or stupidity because they don\u2019t expect any more from a man<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Babying you has never been a sign of respect. It\u2019s a sign of not wanting to handle another toddler-level temper tantrum\u2014of seeing you as less capable of self-control, care, intelligence, and so on.<\/p>\n\n\n\n In some ways, you live in a world that treats you like a child. And I suspect that for many of you, you feel the wrongness<\/em> of that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n You feel the inathenticity of how women must<\/em> interact with you in day-to-day life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And you feel how it keeps you separate from us. From our power. Our care. Our truth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Whether you were able to articulate it to yourself or not before this moment, that wrongness lodges in your throat and chokes out the feeling of real connection.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Which is why you tell me you love a mean girl.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It\u2019s why when I don\u2019t pretend to be impressed, it feels so right.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It\u2019s why \u201cthat\u2019s stupid\u201d or \u201cdo better\u201d or audio of me laughing at you don\u2019t hit as barbs. They hit as euphoria.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Kittens, I suspect that some of you are tired of the lies. Tired of how those lies keep you from real, authentic connection with women.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And you don\u2019t know how to ask to tear those walls down, so you ask me to be mean.<\/p>\n\n\n\n That\u2019s also why some meanness doesn\u2019t hit. Doesn\u2019t scratch the itch. Because if this is you\u2014if you are the one I am talking to\u2014you didn\u2019t want to cosplay mean. You wanted truth. You wanted truth so badly that you hoped it would sting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n There\u2019s more than one type of request for meanness. There\u2019s more than one type of sub who loves a mean girl. There is more than one layer to this onion to peel back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But this is one of them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n One layer. One type of sub. One request for \u201cmeanness.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n A request not even for meanness, but simply for straightforwardness<\/em>, a type of truth serum, a holding of boundaries that feels real<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And if this is you, I want to hear from you. I want to give you the gift of that authenticity. I want to show you what it feels like to be truly respected\u2014expected to live up to a higher standard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And don\u2019t worry. I will laugh at you plenty along the way.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" First, a truth: Sometimes it surprises me what you consider mean. When I tell you a hard truth, even gently: mean. When I say you…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1,9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-233","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-findom","category-kink-philosophy"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/yourgoddesspandora.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/233","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/yourgoddesspandora.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/yourgoddesspandora.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yourgoddesspandora.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yourgoddesspandora.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=233"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/yourgoddesspandora.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/233\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":234,"href":"https:\/\/yourgoddesspandora.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/233\/revisions\/234"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/yourgoddesspandora.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=233"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yourgoddesspandora.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=233"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yourgoddesspandora.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=233"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}