There\u2019s an anxiety that sometimes shows up when I\u2019m getting to know a new sub. Whenever I ask a question about their kinks, nickname preferences, etc., they\u2019re hesitant to answer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhatever you want, Goddess,\u201d is a common refrain.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI just want what you want,\u201d is another usual answer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
On the surface, that\u2019s fabulous. Because yes, here in my temple, it is<\/em> whatever I want.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But it\u2019s also more complex than that. Because what I want <\/em>is to toy with you<\/em>. To tease you<\/em>. To evoke reactions in you<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And the only way I can get there is to understand you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n My core kinks are things like worship and tease and denial. If I haven\u2019t tapped into what makes you feel teased, what turns you on, what makes you fall to your knees\u2014I\u2019m not having fun.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I think the underlying fear here is that answering the questions directly means I\u2019ll cater to your pleasure instead of mine. You don\u2019t want the game to feel fake, to be fake. You don\u2019t want me to call you a bitch if I don\u2019t feel like it. You don\u2019t want me to call you a cutie just for show.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And I get that. Because it happens. Your fear is valid. There are spaces where you can pay to have someone play out your exact fantasy because you asked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But that isn\u2019t this space.<\/p>\n\n\n\n When I ask you those questions, it is not because I am creating your fantasy at the expense of mine; it\u2019s because I\u2019m using yours to create mine<\/em>. Connecting with you, toying with you, getting into your psyche is part of the game. And while I will also read you in ways you never expected, giving me something to work with doesn\u2019t diminish the game; it enhances it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n So when I ask you a question, rest assured I am not pushing my own needs aside to serve yours. I am understanding yours in order to craft something that is fun and fulfilling for us both. And that all starts with cracking open your truths, just a bit, to let me peer inside.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" There\u2019s an anxiety that sometimes shows up when I\u2019m getting to know a new sub. Whenever I ask a question about their kinks, nickname preferences,…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-176","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-kink-philosophy"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/yourgoddesspandora.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/176","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/yourgoddesspandora.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/yourgoddesspandora.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yourgoddesspandora.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yourgoddesspandora.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=176"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/yourgoddesspandora.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/176\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":177,"href":"https:\/\/yourgoddesspandora.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/176\/revisions\/177"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/yourgoddesspandora.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=176"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yourgoddesspandora.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=176"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yourgoddesspandora.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=176"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
I am not the type of goddess who wants subs who simply \u201cyes, goddess\u201d their way through life. I want you to be vibrantly yourself, to embrace your authenticity, and to grow and thrive in that authenticity through my control.<\/p>\n\n\n\n